Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Still Acting Egoistically...The Only Difference Is...

I'm aware of it. Since reading Eckhart Tolle's book, I would say I became conscious. But what has surprised me is that it hasn't stopped me from continuing to behave out of my ego and my pain body. What is the point of being conscious if I am just going to repeat the same old patterns of behavior? Is it truly better that I am aware of it?

I recently had a situation where one of my favorite employees experienced a personal loss and family tragedy. This particular employee was going to leave in late May anyway, but she was so distraught that she decided to quit her job immediately without giving any notice, and without talking to me personally about her situation.

I noticed that I carried feelings of irritation and anger and disappointment about how it was handled. I said things out loud to myself like, "You just don't do that to an employer who has treated you so well. You just don't!" I wanted her to have said to me, "Mare, I'll give you 2 weeks notice," or "Mare, I really am in no emotional shape to work. Please, help me...let me leave the company early."

In the middle of ranting and raving about it to my best friend, I realized something important: that even were this employee to have given me two weeks' notice, I would not have accepted it anyway. Did I really want someone who was that emotionally fatigued and fragile to be working at my spa? No way. The other staff would notice and clients would notice and everyone would be affected adversely. So what was I so mad about?

Well, at its core, I just wanted her to observe the NICETY of giving me the two other words, I wanted her to quit on my terms, not on hers. And that is solely EGO. Hello, my old friend. You never do seem to go away, do you?

In any case, I want to say to this employee (and you know who you are): I wish you all the joy and abundance and happiness that life has to offer. Thank you for your wonderful work at Pavia. The time you gave us was cherished and held precious. Your warmth, your beautiful smile, your giving nature, all of those things were treasured by me and the other staff. I know that you will be successful at everything you do. May you heal and rest, and then may you flourish. I release any ill will, and I hold only loving energy for you here in my heart. Love, Mare

Saturday, April 5, 2008


It's bad enough that I have to worry about people coming to the spa for a service, not liking their experience, and then writing about it online and giving us a negative review. But I never thought I'd have to worry about someone who's NEVER been to our spa for a service whatsoever, never paid us a dime, and still went on Yelp to blast us! What am I talking about? I am referring to this 3/22/08 review of our spa, written by Angela F:

2 Stars: 1 for Great Website Design and 1 for Marketing Efforts, what ever else they could of gotten was dissolved by my in person experience -very dissapointing and misleading.

I wonder how they got Best Spa by anyone who actually visited them - starting from Obscure location in a dingy strip mall, small over stuffed space claiming to be a Day Spa for Relaxation, to say the least there is nothing that will want to make you spend a Day there.

Yet one thing for sure if you want to over pay and leave dissapointed visit Pavia "Day" Spa.

If I would give them any Award - it will be for Over Promising & Underdelivering...

How do I know that she's never been to our spa before? Because I know who she is, and her name is not in our database (she posted her picture on, and I recognized her). She called me three years ago asking to come talk to me about doing spa consulting for me. I agreed to a meeting, and then after meeting her, realized her skills were more appropriate for a larger spa (she specializes in creating healthy, nutritious menus for spa clients). So I referred her to a friend of mine who owns a much larger spa.

Then, fast forward to March 14, 2008, when she called Pavia to respond to an ad I had placed on Craigslist for an open spa coordinator position. Because I had already hired someone, and because I was overwhelmed with responses for that position, I did not contact her (or any of the other 56 people who had applied that I could not meet or hire). So clearly, she went onto to fulfill a personal grudge and smear our reputation.

This is why I really hate Yelp. You can't respond to negative reviews publicly, and no one who posts there has any accountability for what they write. Obviously, they can write stuff about your spa and never have even been there for a service. What actually really cracked me up was her statement that if you want to "overpay and leave dissapointed [sic - obviously, she's never won a spelling contest]," then go to Pavia. Haha, seeing as how she's never handed us a dime, I don't see how she overpaid for anything.

I did alert Yelp that this was a libelous review, and we will see whether they do the right thing. I trust that they will remove the review soon. And if they do not, I don't see that there is much I can do about it, unless I want to file a libel suit.

Well, I will just blog about this and then let it go. She is evidently in a difficult place in her life, and I feel only compassion for her. I will send her light during meditation and hope that illuminates the darkness within her.